If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
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So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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