Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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