drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
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Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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