so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize