I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
