He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
