you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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