well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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