So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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