I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
COCAINE IS GR8
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
