I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
