I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
