we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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