either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
