Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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