he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
