apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
