Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
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Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
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Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.