I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.