i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?