I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie