I wannas sexs uuuuu
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.