wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
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Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
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The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow