Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.

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  (407): Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store. http://tfl.nu/m9df
  Replies (77) Good night (3218) Bad night (676)
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  (909): View more from California

  my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks

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  (909): my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks http://tfl.nu/7ncm
  Replies (16) Good night (1103) Bad night (4165)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  People still let you watch their kids?

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  (970): I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer. (1-970): People still let you watch their kids? http://tfl.nu/8t1p
  Replies (18) Good night (6037) Bad night (764)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad

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  (970): Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad http://tfl.nu/i5ms
  Replies (30) Good night (896) Bad night (4343)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.

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  (201): Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is. http://tfl.nu/gvpy
  Replies (15) Good night (8191) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever

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  (850): She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever http://tfl.nu/uwj0
  Replies (18) Good night (6004) Bad night (1318)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.

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  (832): Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me. http://tfl.nu/x609
  Replies (5) Good night (2479) Bad night (747)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.

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  (785): Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever. http://tfl.nu/qjci
  Replies (1) Good night (1643) Bad night (534)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.

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  (719): Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible. http://tfl.nu/tds6
  Replies (14) Good night (1564) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.

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  (219): The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair. http://tfl.nu/a313
  Replies (2) Good night (813) Bad night (1587)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues

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  (310): I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues http://tfl.nu/j2av
  Replies (4) Good night (1102) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.

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  (608): Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day. http://tfl.nu/sglt
  Replies (2) Good night (1568) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.

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  (248): New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together. http://tfl.nu/5v90
  Replies (9) Good night (1807) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?

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  (202): What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom? http://tfl.nu/x7t2
  Replies (9) Good night (842) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman

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  (484): 'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman http://tfl.nu/trz5
  Replies (2) Good night (739) Bad night (264)

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