And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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