So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Randomize