I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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