Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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