How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
