"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
