I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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