My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
