How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm jealous of your bromance
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
