Moan for me like Helen Keller
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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