Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
