idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
