Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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