just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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