Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
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Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
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You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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