these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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