It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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