I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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