I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
