Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
