Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
so much tequila, so little girl.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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