My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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