U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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