She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
