Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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