my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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