I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
