i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
