I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize