i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
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All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
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Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all