If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
