ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
