i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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