capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
