A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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