Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
