FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
