I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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