I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize