so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
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Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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