I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
