I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Floor bacon is actually really good
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
