i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
